What's your name? Mahtcheens?

I’m still getting used to the names here. They have the common international names, with a Brazilian twist – Gabrielle, Danilo, Pedro, Paulo and so on.

They also have some old fashioned names, usually pronounced in an exotic Brazilian way – Igor, Hebert (English Herbert? Pronounced Webbertch), Knet (English Kenneth, pronounced Kenetch), Rubia (English Ruby, pronounced Hubia), Ivete (English Evette, pronounced Ivetch)

And then they have the ones that I struggle with – such as Eder, Arlette, Thaylon, Waudinez, Valmir, Walson, Elia, Heloyane, Iuri, Wanja.

Saudeni, Solange, Saulo, Ludimila, Elissama, Cidiane, Edson, Itala, Deuzina, Wibergson, Sonielson, Celminha, Walkiria.

All lovely names, but names I struggle to pick up when I’m introduced to someone. I rarely remember these names, as there is no previous pathway in my brain to recognise them as names and store them appropriately.

(Tip, Ayrton Senna's first name is pronounced Eye-ear-tun).

Brazilians struggle equally with my name, and leads to ever more inventive attempts. When I am expecting my name to be called, such as at the hospital, I have to pay attention. They make up the order of my full name – Martyn Derek Wright can be Derek Martyn, Wright Derek, or any other combination.

It can be pronounced in many entertaining ways and usually results in me and everyone else having a chuckle. "Matchin Dehecky Heighchy", "Mah-cheens Heaty", "Jeheecky March-n".

As Sonia always calls me "honey", a lot of people do the same, often without realising it’s not my name, nor that it’s a term of romantic affection. I’ve had sophisticated politicians, company directors, and macho builders and truck drivers call me Honey. I’m fine with it. It’s much easier for them to pronounce and at least I know they are talking to me!